INABILITY

By Ruchika Jajodia
PID 401
11.7.2008

Sometimes when I read a poem,

How do I ever write one?

I toil at it,

yet nothing rhymes or flows from within,

Nothing lyrical,

Nothing poetic,

Nothing simple,

Nothing complicated,

Nothing at all.

Just blankness. A space.

A space so empty and white and hollow.

A space so pure.

Yet it beckons confusion, irritation and frustration.

Why can’t I do it? I waste.

Why do I feel like that?

Too much do I expect of myself, maybe?

Too much do I go against the tide?

Pushing extremes,

Managing expectations,

Of me and my neighbor.

I question – Why do I do that?

What am I trying to prove?

Nothing!

Nothing at all…

Or maybe a lot.

I guess at the end, I achieve nothing

but pain and suffering,

is self-inflicted,

torturing

More than anything else.

“Life is a suffering” said The Buddha.

So, am I trying to negate it?

Go against it?

What stops me from accepting it?

Why don’t I just accept it?

Acceptance is the key

Something with the ability to sail the destructive storms

to serenity.

If I am peaceful within,

Then I am peaceful without,

And there is nothing to fight about.

Nothing to dwell upon,

Nothing to relive,

Nothing negative.

It destroys and removes the garbage,

Clean.

Just blankness. A space.

A space so empty and white and hollow.

A space so pure.

I have the choice.

I always had the choice.

Either worry and trouble,

Or happiness and peace.

Being comfortable with my own self.

Accepting myself the way I am.

When I am happy

Good thoughts flow in,

Good things happen,

Expectations are not burdening and over powering.

So maybe,

One day by the grace

Of the power

Much more greater than I,

I’ll be able to

Write a Poem.

Isn’t that what I intended to do in the beginning?

So for now,

I am not going to get perturbed,

I will let my thoughts flow as they want to.

Is there anyone who has been able to stop time

Apart from The Greatest?

Let go and let in the Almighty!

(END)

Ruchika Jajodia

11.7.08