WHY…???!!!
Why does it hurt so much?
Why the pain,
Why does it feel like a sin
To love somebody so selflessly?
Why do I have to crave for permission
To love someone unconditionally?
Why am I prohibited to be happy?
Why, with so many friends around
Do I feel so lonely
Why do I feel so empty
Like something has died within me?
Why is it wrong to expect someone
To accept your presence gracefully?
Why is it wrong to believe
That peace will prevail naturally?
Why do people blame me
For their trauma and pain?
Why would I consciously
Hurt someone I like,
What am I likely to gain?
Why did I allow someone
To walk all over my feelings,
To cause me so much pain and suffering?
Why couldn’t I be immune
To those piercing words
Which stabbed my heart?
Why, even after so much trauma
Do I still pray for that person’s
Happiness and well being?
Each and every time I pray to God
Why does it affect me so much
That I still ask God for forgiveness?
Why does that person
Still invade and torture my mind?
Why do I still want to cry my heart out
When there are no tears left behind?
Why does it become so suffocating
Every time I breathe joy?
Why does every smile on my lips
Seem like a burden to me?
Why can’t I just amputate
And cut off those thoughts
Like everyone prescribes?
Why can’t I just let go
And move on?
Why can I forgive so easily
But can’t ever forget?
Why do I cherish
Those bittersweet memories
Wiping the dust of time off it
Now and then?
Why do I still live in that
Utopian world
Hoping things will get better
And everything happens for the best?
Why do I feel so useless and worthless
Insignificant, unloved?
Why do I feel guilty
Like a murderous criminal?
Why do I still yearn
For something so trivial
As a pinch of peace of mind?
Why does happiness seem
Like a faraway, unsighted destination
And I, like a worn out traveller
On an endless journey
Why am I getting punished
With these thoughts
Continuously
Mercilessly…?
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THINKING
A thought about you
enters my mind
once in a while
Thinking
of what
you must be doing
Thinking whether
you may be
thinking of me
or whether
you’d be thinking
if I'm thinking of you
just the same way I do
Thinking whether
you too
Allow thoughts of me
to overpower others
or whether
thoughts of me
are the only
thoughts
that you get
In all the instances
I take the fancy
of finding
an excuse
to trouble
and tease your mind
in your supposed thoughts of me
with the very
same Thoughts
that enters mine.
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