Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Aditi - .....WHY???!!! and One More

WHY…???!!!


Why does it hurt so much?

Why the pain,

Why does it feel like a sin


To love somebody so selflessly?


Why do I have to crave for permission

To love someone unconditionally?


Why am I prohibited to be happy?


Why, with so many friends around

Do I feel so lonely

Why do I feel so empty

Like something has died within me?


Why is it wrong to expect someone

To accept your presence gracefully?


Why is it wrong to believe

That peace will prevail naturally?


Why do people blame me

For their trauma and pain?

Why would I consciously

Hurt someone I like,

What am I likely to gain?


Why did I allow someone


To walk all over my feelings,

To cause me so much pain and suffering?


Why couldn’t I be immune

To those piercing words

Which stabbed my heart?


Why, even after so much trauma

Do I still pray for that person’s

Happiness and well being?


Each and every time I pray to God


Why does it affect me so much

That I still ask God for forgiveness?


Why does that person

Still invade and torture my mind?


Why do I still want to cry my heart out

When there are no tears left behind?

Why does it become so suffocating

Every time I breathe joy?


Why does every smile on my lips

Seem like a burden to me?


Why can’t I just amputate

And cut off those thoughts

Like everyone prescribes?


Why can’t I just let go

And move on?


Why can I forgive so easily

But can’t ever forget?


Why do I cherish

Those bittersweet memories

Wiping the dust of time off it

Now and then?


Why do I still live in that

Utopian world

Hoping things will get better

And everything happens for the best?


Why do I feel so useless and worthless

Insignificant, unloved?


Why do I feel guilty

Like a murderous criminal?


Why do I still yearn

For something so trivial

As a pinch of peace of mind?


Why does happiness seem

Like a faraway, unsighted destination

And I, like a worn out traveller

On an endless journey


Why am I getting punished

With these thoughts

Continuously

Mercilessly…?


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THINKING


A thought about you

enters my mind


once in a while


Thinking

of what

you must be doing


Thinking whether


you may be

thinking of me


or whether


you’d be thinking

if I'm thinking of you


just the same way I do


Thinking whether


you too


Allow thoughts of me

to overpower others


or whether


thoughts of me

are the only

thoughts

that you get


In all the instances

I take the fancy


of finding

an excuse

to trouble

and tease your mind

in your supposed thoughts of me


with the very

same Thoughts


that enters mine.







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